I have a new theory, on life the universe. Everything. It is that we, us humans enjoy chaos. Secretly we love it when life gives us chaos, gives us the unexpected the horrible, the amazing, the joy, the pain and hurt. We love the happening the adventure that the chaos brings. When there is no chaos in our lives we bring it our selves! We create it through alcohol lubrication acts of stupidness, or saying what we know is the wrong thing to the wrong person because it gives us kicks, the head spin we're looking for the stomach lurch we long for the adventure we crave.
I for one, could sit down and just do things, but no I prefer the chaos, I would rather not do useful things but play ours of video games, not study but spend time talking to friends that most probably won't be around once this chapter in our lives ends. When the chaos of life pulls us apart. Think of all that could be achieved if we did away with procrastination and just did, didn't think or ponder or daydream just did. We did what we wanted to do, what we really wanted to do, chase our goals properly with all our bones. Some people do, but I don't. Its the chaos, we love the chaos, we love the mystery of it all.
I sit here now wondering why, why is there this chaos, why can't I just live without this chaos. A large amount of its in my head, I know I imagine insanities, worlds where this happens or that happens because these decisions were made at this point in time. Parallel dimensions, its such a waste of time because there is only this world, this life.
To be honest I'm not sure if this makes sense, its simply a 2.30am rant. Happy adventures world!
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Friday, October 22, 2010
Love
Those that have spend to long talking about it.
Those that had it spend to long lamenting it.
Those that have never had it down play it to them selves in there mind.
Is it truly better to have Loved and lost that to never loved at all? At least with the never loved at all one can live in a world of self-deception free from the aches of the heart? Surely to have had Love and lost it would be to have never had true love at all?
Those that had it spend to long lamenting it.
Those that have never had it down play it to them selves in there mind.
Is it truly better to have Loved and lost that to never loved at all? At least with the never loved at all one can live in a world of self-deception free from the aches of the heart? Surely to have had Love and lost it would be to have never had true love at all?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4
Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Love is always. So if it is always then true love is eternal. So if "love" flickers and disbands. Then was this "love" true? was it there ever? Was that feeling really love? Or is everyone responsible for this love. We are the misguided and foolish youth, growing up on British pop songs and romantic comedies. We don't understand life, and we never will.
Is understanding what is important, does it bring happiness or is bliss the happier past. One of my friends when I joke to him about girls, and oh she's cute she works where you wok maybe you should try to get to know her. He always responds with anger. Is his anger from a deep sense of refusing to become aware? Or is it from a truly pessimistic view of the world? Where nothing ever works out as planned. Which is true to a point. I would say, nothing ever turns out as planned but sometimes things are better than you can ever imagine. Sometimes things suck.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Theme Thursday - Light
When I think about light the first thing that pops into my mind is the light at the end of the tunnel. You know how often in movies when someones knocked out or dazed or injured someone jumps in and tells that character stay away from the light! As if the light means some sort of passing to the after life.
I thought what if the light isn't the afterlife but hope of the afterlife. Then the tunnel could signify any sort of hardship, and the light is the foreseeable hope. Like is aforementioned movie character died, going towards the light would be hope of heaven.
Hope being something that's bright and shining and essential to navigate through life with.
One of those shining lights that my mum has been giving me a lot recently and although most of the time she's told me I've wanted to slap her and tell her to shut up (something I'd never do. . . well the first half). My first and only girlfriend broke up with me, well a while ago now. I seeing all the light in the situation now. My mum throughout all those month has been reminding me that I am a nice boy, and there are plenty of nice girls out there for me. The reason I wanted to slap her was because at the time immediately and a while after the break up it felt like there was no one else for me and that the world was a very unhappy place. Now however that piece of encouragement is a shining light of hope in my future. Probably not immediate, but hey I'm year 13! and next year Uni! I've got life experiences to have!
Another bright and shining hope was yesterday after my canoe polo game, I was chatting with a guy on my team we were talking about our plans for next year. When I told him I wanted to go do medicine and become a doctor. Rather than being negative like so many other people before him, he immediately asked me what specialty I'd be interested in. I could have kissed him! (Figuratively speaking of course!). That sort of encouragement made my day! The fact that someone from my school that didn't know me amazingly well thought I could become a doctor, and didn't laugh, or say something like, "So you do all the sciences then?" Or "I hear it's hard work." I guess that was more of a lamp post in my tunnel than hope. It still made my day.
I'm aware that this theme thursday post could possibly be seen as a twist on the theme, but hey whats life without a bit of spice?
Anyway what are the lights at the end of your tunnels?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
15 Weeks
15 weeks of classes at MGS. After that I will have to choose what I do with my days. Decide a university, what jobs I try and get. Growing ups terrifying.
I remember a speech that I was given at a camp would have been end of Yr11. It was by this youth pastor, shit that speech scared me. It was make sure you have a plan, if you can. It was a warning to try and sort yourself out before school finishes. He said you need to know what your doing, because the year when after you've left school is according to him the hardest year you'll ever face. You'll find out who your real friends are, he said he found that he didn't really have any.
It scares me to think that next year that could be me. Well I don't think it will be, because I have people who I count as real friends, like Nick, Bob, Lawrence, Matt, Jacob, etc. But who knows when you don't see these people everyday what happens to your relationships? Will they still be there? When you spread out away from your high school and go all over the country to universities, polytech's, in search of careers. What happens then?
What happens if your in my boat and you're almost 18, a few months left to make a decision like what am I going to do next year? Or even scarier where am I going to do it? Sometime I wish my parents would tell me what I'm going to be when I'm growing up, like they have some sort of expectation. They want what I want. Me to get a good job and live a happy life.
How come thiers no way to find out what that is? I mean out of my subjects at school thiers none that excites me 100% of the time. A few of them have moments of excitement. Realistically, I cannot see myself doing anything with them 100% of the time. Economics that was my favourite subject in year 11's not anymore. It bores me, the things that made it interesting, the rules, understanding of society, the assumptions. Are now just tedious.
If I had to be honest I don't really enjoy any of my subjects at the moment, except PE, and that's just cause of the weights training program. Which is probably the only reason I really go to school at the moment, other than the fact I made a commitment at the beginning of the year and I'm going to keep it.
I hope that everything makes sense soon. I hope I can decide what I want to do, who I want to be.
I remember a speech that I was given at a camp would have been end of Yr11. It was by this youth pastor, shit that speech scared me. It was make sure you have a plan, if you can. It was a warning to try and sort yourself out before school finishes. He said you need to know what your doing, because the year when after you've left school is according to him the hardest year you'll ever face. You'll find out who your real friends are, he said he found that he didn't really have any.
It scares me to think that next year that could be me. Well I don't think it will be, because I have people who I count as real friends, like Nick, Bob, Lawrence, Matt, Jacob, etc. But who knows when you don't see these people everyday what happens to your relationships? Will they still be there? When you spread out away from your high school and go all over the country to universities, polytech's, in search of careers. What happens then?
What happens if your in my boat and you're almost 18, a few months left to make a decision like what am I going to do next year? Or even scarier where am I going to do it? Sometime I wish my parents would tell me what I'm going to be when I'm growing up, like they have some sort of expectation. They want what I want. Me to get a good job and live a happy life.
How come thiers no way to find out what that is? I mean out of my subjects at school thiers none that excites me 100% of the time. A few of them have moments of excitement. Realistically, I cannot see myself doing anything with them 100% of the time. Economics that was my favourite subject in year 11's not anymore. It bores me, the things that made it interesting, the rules, understanding of society, the assumptions. Are now just tedious.
If I had to be honest I don't really enjoy any of my subjects at the moment, except PE, and that's just cause of the weights training program. Which is probably the only reason I really go to school at the moment, other than the fact I made a commitment at the beginning of the year and I'm going to keep it.
I hope that everything makes sense soon. I hope I can decide what I want to do, who I want to be.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Didn't feel any guilt.
I have come to the conclusion that I am deluded. I have been living in a dream world for a long time now. Its taken me a while to realise, and I'm still not really coming to terms with it, but every things changed. It's time for me to admit that and stop living in a fantasy land, nothing happens the way you expect it to, and I can be as optimistic as I want, be prepared for the best when really I should prepare for the worst. Things will not happen as I want, hints will not be understood, crazy dreams of everything being fixed. The whole boy at the airport or flying around the world to talk to the girl he left and realised he loved, tween romance cliche. I must except the change, move on, grow up.
I used to be terrified of change, the truth was is I was to happy being safe. I didn't want to try new things, meet new people. I was Sam, a safe little boy, I thought safe was good, it was fine, boring. I hated being boring, but it was bare able because I was safe, as long as I was boring there was very little that could hurt me. I was safe in a very small world, my world is still small, and safe but I do strongly believe that this has to change. In my safe world I experienced little, few things that are worth repeating, no adventures. Safe is the old me, the scared me.
My life has been littered with incidences lately where I have planned to do something, something huge, and something has come and blocked my path. An example of this was when I was 100% sure about doing something that was completely new and terrified me, would have involved me doing something that could of potentially hurt some people or myself. He closed the door for a while, giving me time to reflect on it more before I try to do it. Its funny when I think about it. God has a sence of humour, he mixes things around, and forces you to choose new paths. One example is when that a few times in the last week i have gone to make one decision like yes this is what I will do, and immediately after I have committed myself something else arises. Its quite funny for me, he's getting me to do things I was to scared to do. Like next week I'm meeting with my pastor to talk about me taking sunday school for 8-10 year olds, which was something that I had wanted to do but had made lame excuses for not volinteerting. I guess you could call it a Jona situation.
Ever head the expression rules are made to be broken? I do not live by that phrase, its time I believe. I have my morals, I hope they wont break they're strong enough I hope. Today I recognise that my safe world its over, I must enter the real world.
Some rules are made to be broken some are to be bent. Life isn't fare and people get hurt, but its all the way the world works. It's time to become a more exciting person. I am going to be making some changes. No more living in my own world. If you want to help me escape, invite me to experience your world, I want to be more open, adventurous. Help me to expand my world.
I used to be terrified of change, the truth was is I was to happy being safe. I didn't want to try new things, meet new people. I was Sam, a safe little boy, I thought safe was good, it was fine, boring. I hated being boring, but it was bare able because I was safe, as long as I was boring there was very little that could hurt me. I was safe in a very small world, my world is still small, and safe but I do strongly believe that this has to change. In my safe world I experienced little, few things that are worth repeating, no adventures. Safe is the old me, the scared me.
My life has been littered with incidences lately where I have planned to do something, something huge, and something has come and blocked my path. An example of this was when I was 100% sure about doing something that was completely new and terrified me, would have involved me doing something that could of potentially hurt some people or myself. He closed the door for a while, giving me time to reflect on it more before I try to do it. Its funny when I think about it. God has a sence of humour, he mixes things around, and forces you to choose new paths. One example is when that a few times in the last week i have gone to make one decision like yes this is what I will do, and immediately after I have committed myself something else arises. Its quite funny for me, he's getting me to do things I was to scared to do. Like next week I'm meeting with my pastor to talk about me taking sunday school for 8-10 year olds, which was something that I had wanted to do but had made lame excuses for not volinteerting. I guess you could call it a Jona situation.
Ever head the expression rules are made to be broken? I do not live by that phrase, its time I believe. I have my morals, I hope they wont break they're strong enough I hope. Today I recognise that my safe world its over, I must enter the real world.
Some rules are made to be broken some are to be bent. Life isn't fare and people get hurt, but its all the way the world works. It's time to become a more exciting person. I am going to be making some changes. No more living in my own world. If you want to help me escape, invite me to experience your world, I want to be more open, adventurous. Help me to expand my world.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Wall-E <3's Eve-A
Last night i watched the best movie iv seen in a long time, It had Explosions, Love, Action, Chases, Fights and Robot's! The movie was Wall-E. If anyone wants to a movie to watch, and they're buying a dvd or going to the video store. Wall-E should be it! Then after it watch Burn-E in the Bonus features. It was funny!
Friday, January 2, 2009
Wasted Day
Well im up now at 20 to 2am cause i cant sleep.
One of those times where thoughts are blasting through my head at a million miles per second.
Many about the day i wasted, I did nothing. Well i played video games and watched a movie. Nothing real was accomplished. I even replied to a txt i was sent at the brilliant speed of 2 and 1/2hrs! And it was an important txt the sorta one that if you dont reply quickly you dont get a reply, and the no reply leaves you thinking desperately and feeling desserted late at night. Until you check your phone and discover that you took 2 and 1/2 hrs to reply! And then you feel guilty. And Lonely. And depressed over a wasted day.
Instead of going to sleep so you can wake up the next day you get outta bed walk across the room to your laptop to post a blog that maybe 3 people will read. Why? Man this is losing all structure and i imagine is hard to follow at all. I guess im blogging so at least i did something with my day. I had planned things to do. I didnt do them, no reason why either just didnt get around to doing them. I SHOULD have done them. But i didnt.
One of those times where thoughts are blasting through my head at a million miles per second.
Many about the day i wasted, I did nothing. Well i played video games and watched a movie. Nothing real was accomplished. I even replied to a txt i was sent at the brilliant speed of 2 and 1/2hrs! And it was an important txt the sorta one that if you dont reply quickly you dont get a reply, and the no reply leaves you thinking desperately and feeling desserted late at night. Until you check your phone and discover that you took 2 and 1/2 hrs to reply! And then you feel guilty. And Lonely. And depressed over a wasted day.
Instead of going to sleep so you can wake up the next day you get outta bed walk across the room to your laptop to post a blog that maybe 3 people will read. Why? Man this is losing all structure and i imagine is hard to follow at all. I guess im blogging so at least i did something with my day. I had planned things to do. I didnt do them, no reason why either just didnt get around to doing them. I SHOULD have done them. But i didnt.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Christmas Woes!
Well Christmas is really soon!
So of course that mean presents! YAH!
But it also means i have to buy presents!
Working out what to get peoples always a little bit tricky! I really struggle. But when something appears in my mind i go straight for it. For the one friend i buy gifts for its normally quite easy. The next tricky step for me the finding of money to get the presents. Im traditional not a very good saver and spend money as soon as i get it. . . and having to have $100 for presents makes things difficult! Im not complaining. Its just a challange i must overcome for next year!
I know this is odd cause i see how people i know freak out over presents going "im not sure if they'll like it", I never have that feeling. Im always confident that my gifts will be liked. If not for what they are. Simply cause they're from me! Cause im awsome. Like a room made of marshmellows and gummi bears!
So. . . After raiding my money box and taking every coin out that is not a 10c piece i have slightly more money. The 10c pieces im keeping cause one day im going to go into a shop and buy something huge with only 10c coins!!! It will be epic! Well that is the dream of a silly 16yr old boy. :P
So of course that mean presents! YAH!
But it also means i have to buy presents!
Working out what to get peoples always a little bit tricky! I really struggle. But when something appears in my mind i go straight for it. For the one friend i buy gifts for its normally quite easy. The next tricky step for me the finding of money to get the presents. Im traditional not a very good saver and spend money as soon as i get it. . . and having to have $100 for presents makes things difficult! Im not complaining. Its just a challange i must overcome for next year!
I know this is odd cause i see how people i know freak out over presents going "im not sure if they'll like it", I never have that feeling. Im always confident that my gifts will be liked. If not for what they are. Simply cause they're from me! Cause im awsome. Like a room made of marshmellows and gummi bears!
So. . . After raiding my money box and taking every coin out that is not a 10c piece i have slightly more money. The 10c pieces im keeping cause one day im going to go into a shop and buy something huge with only 10c coins!!! It will be epic! Well that is the dream of a silly 16yr old boy. :P
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Christmas dinner?!
Hello there peoples, and persons!
Well today was apparently christmas dinner. Its weird cause its not even december yet. But we still had a christmas dinner. With all the cousins that like in chch and Nana. It was mildly not boring. It meant i had to get up by like 12 though. When my cousins started to arrive!
We played Halo2 and ate food. That was that not at all entirely exciting at all! But what is? Everythings just painful and slow, and boring.
Well this was a pointlessly stupid entry. . .
Yes quite.
Well today was apparently christmas dinner. Its weird cause its not even december yet. But we still had a christmas dinner. With all the cousins that like in chch and Nana. It was mildly not boring. It meant i had to get up by like 12 though. When my cousins started to arrive!
We played Halo2 and ate food. That was that not at all entirely exciting at all! But what is? Everythings just painful and slow, and boring.
Well this was a pointlessly stupid entry. . .
Yes quite.
Monday, November 10, 2008
AH!!!
Exams soon, im a bit worried. But not to much. . . Im gonna study lots on Thursday and Monday. So i should be all good! Im just stressed over other things. Its almost been a month. And nothings getting better. Well it doesnt seem to be anyway. And that makes me sad.
Im worried about other people. I wish people could be happy! I miss old times when it was fun. Before everyone got confused and screwed up and stressed! I wish people knew what they wanted.
I dont really know what im going to be when i grow up. I wish i did. I dont want a job. Works lame. Rather just sit in a room and do nothing.
I need to get more money i have $1.10 in my bank account at the moment. SO POOR!!! Im slowly eating through my cash supply. I think i need to start taking my lunch when i go out and taking a drink bottle. Save me like $8 a time! Thats over half my money per week! Theres a plan!
I got 2nd in Economic's. Im annoyed at myself, i shouldv studied for the tests now. . . No one ever remembers second place. People dont say well done im proud of you. They always go "Who came first?" next year im going to work harder, i want to get first in something.
I dont know how i feel about myself, I used to think i was smart, but im not, im average. I used to think i was kind and people would turn to me when they needed to talk, but they dont. I used to be happy all the time, but now im not. I rarely feel happy, happy. Most the time its just what can i do so im not sitting on my arse in front of the computer. People invite me to things but its not overly thrilling. Just average. I used to look forward to seeing people, now most people i dread it. I used to think people wanted to see me. Now i feel like baggage, i dont normally get a smile. If i do i get ditched for someone else if they come along. Maybe im boring?
Who know's i dont!
Im so tired. . . I need to go to bed on time. Prize giving tonight. I have to go sit through 2hrs+ of people getting 1st in this and 1st in that! So depressingly boring! Good for them though. But i only feel pride for a few people who won. I dont know if they care entirely that i do or understand how proud I am of them. I feel like everyone's growing with new relationships and im not. Everyone's making new friends and im not needed like i used to be, and im losing my place in peoples lives.
Maybe im just a grizzling. . .
Im going to go do something now!
Have fun in this game of life!
Im worried about other people. I wish people could be happy! I miss old times when it was fun. Before everyone got confused and screwed up and stressed! I wish people knew what they wanted.
I dont really know what im going to be when i grow up. I wish i did. I dont want a job. Works lame. Rather just sit in a room and do nothing.
I need to get more money i have $1.10 in my bank account at the moment. SO POOR!!! Im slowly eating through my cash supply. I think i need to start taking my lunch when i go out and taking a drink bottle. Save me like $8 a time! Thats over half my money per week! Theres a plan!
I got 2nd in Economic's. Im annoyed at myself, i shouldv studied for the tests now. . . No one ever remembers second place. People dont say well done im proud of you. They always go "Who came first?" next year im going to work harder, i want to get first in something.
I dont know how i feel about myself, I used to think i was smart, but im not, im average. I used to think i was kind and people would turn to me when they needed to talk, but they dont. I used to be happy all the time, but now im not. I rarely feel happy, happy. Most the time its just what can i do so im not sitting on my arse in front of the computer. People invite me to things but its not overly thrilling. Just average. I used to look forward to seeing people, now most people i dread it. I used to think people wanted to see me. Now i feel like baggage, i dont normally get a smile. If i do i get ditched for someone else if they come along. Maybe im boring?
Who know's i dont!
Im so tired. . . I need to go to bed on time. Prize giving tonight. I have to go sit through 2hrs+ of people getting 1st in this and 1st in that! So depressingly boring! Good for them though. But i only feel pride for a few people who won. I dont know if they care entirely that i do or understand how proud I am of them. I feel like everyone's growing with new relationships and im not. Everyone's making new friends and im not needed like i used to be, and im losing my place in peoples lives.
Maybe im just a grizzling. . .
Im going to go do something now!
Have fun in this game of life!
Friday, October 31, 2008
HellO!
Well,
Today i helped my dad Dj at Puroa Street School (i think that's what its called) and man it was weird. It was Halloween theme of course it being weeny at the tonight. I was Dressed as a vampire, Dreadlocks and all! :P Man the kids there were mean! They just yelled and one girl said she was going to kick me in the butt! Oh the Violence! Just cause I didn't let her hold the end of the limbo stick. Which to be honest they were completely USE-less at! It made me laugh. I could've gone lower and i was like twice there height. So that made me laugh!
It was fun though, well bets sitting at home doing nothing! Except of all the requests that were made only one was an actual song! The rest were crap! Man proof that Hip-Hop is completely commercialised when Fendalton Kids are requesting them!
Well, now iv just had a large 2x Cheeseburger Combo from McDonalds so I now have no will to sleep for another hour! YAH!!!
Man im confused at the moment. Siobhan, doesnt tell me what im doing to annoy her for ages and i wish she would tell me sooner. Im sorry for being so annoying! But if i dnt know what im doing i can't stop! Surely you must see the wisdom in telling me these things Snugs?
Well yes tomorrow will be interesting! I dont know what might go down. Probly lots of things, I hope though that nothing to bad happens at the Sleep over. I hope people dont do stupid things, I hope I get awnsers. . . Iv been being told for half a week now that is were we'll discus things, so maybe there il get awnsers. . . Maybe everything can change, and we can fix things. MEH!
But who know's? I can only hope and Pray.
Today i helped my dad Dj at Puroa Street School (i think that's what its called) and man it was weird. It was Halloween theme of course it being weeny at the tonight. I was Dressed as a vampire, Dreadlocks and all! :P Man the kids there were mean! They just yelled and one girl said she was going to kick me in the butt! Oh the Violence! Just cause I didn't let her hold the end of the limbo stick. Which to be honest they were completely USE-less at! It made me laugh. I could've gone lower and i was like twice there height. So that made me laugh!
It was fun though, well bets sitting at home doing nothing! Except of all the requests that were made only one was an actual song! The rest were crap! Man proof that Hip-Hop is completely commercialised when Fendalton Kids are requesting them!
Well, now iv just had a large 2x Cheeseburger Combo from McDonalds so I now have no will to sleep for another hour! YAH!!!
Man im confused at the moment. Siobhan, doesnt tell me what im doing to annoy her for ages and i wish she would tell me sooner. Im sorry for being so annoying! But if i dnt know what im doing i can't stop! Surely you must see the wisdom in telling me these things Snugs?
Well yes tomorrow will be interesting! I dont know what might go down. Probly lots of things, I hope though that nothing to bad happens at the Sleep over. I hope people dont do stupid things, I hope I get awnsers. . . Iv been being told for half a week now that is were we'll discus things, so maybe there il get awnsers. . . Maybe everything can change, and we can fix things. MEH!
But who know's? I can only hope and Pray.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Humans
Humans,
Ok. People, individuals. Everyone. We're floored in some way.
Why? We are all equals, but in no way is anyone the same.
Hence people are valued differently.
So we can't be equal can we?
We all have different values.
A thing that is revolting to one person is normal to somethings.
People do wrong and get away with it.
Its not fair.
No one can possibly be equal to anyone else.
Life is just far to complicated.
People do things, mistakes. We hurt others, we scare others, we terrify them, we make them cry. Why do people suffer for other peoples mistake.
Life is not fair.
Promises, why do people say things they dont mean?
People lie. Why?
It hurts other.
ok i Lie, i break promises. But i try my hardest not to.
Why does it feel like so many others dont? A word said out loud, has to be ment.
I dont mean saying one thing by accident. I mean intimate promises between friends.
Why are they being thrown away?
Why do people say one thing then do something completly against what they just said. Hypocrites.
Why do others suffer?
Every action has a consequence.
You have to think of others.
We are all connected through relationships ever so distently.
You cant do something and exspect it not to effect someone.
Of course you could do something that effects everyone positively.
But theres is always the opposite of anything.
You cant trust people.
Some people are good, or appear good.
Most people. Somewhere in them are evil. We're Humans.
We were made for good, but Sin came into the world. We have the choice. I know Good is ultimately stronger than evil, but when choice is given to us. Our true nature is showen. Human nature.
When we're given the choice to do evil. Our own selfish human nature shows. When we have evil thoughts and choice, evil gets done.
Hence everyone is evil.
I know i am.
Why must we cause pain to others? Our world is huge. There are millions starving, while we feast on rubbish. Is that not evil? We have choice. We can help if we want to. Do we?
Sometimes not doing something is wrong.
We must try to think of others always. Watch what we say and we promise. Try hard to forgive those that do us wrong. Live in the now but always think of the future.
If everyone thought of others, then we'd all be looked after by each other. Of course we look after ourselves, but if we Loved each other. No one would be lonely. To be Loved you must first Love.
Whoa im a raunter!
No wonder i cant write essays look at that crappy structure. :P
hm. . .
Ok. People, individuals. Everyone. We're floored in some way.
Why? We are all equals, but in no way is anyone the same.
Hence people are valued differently.
So we can't be equal can we?
We all have different values.
A thing that is revolting to one person is normal to somethings.
People do wrong and get away with it.
Its not fair.
No one can possibly be equal to anyone else.
Life is just far to complicated.
People do things, mistakes. We hurt others, we scare others, we terrify them, we make them cry. Why do people suffer for other peoples mistake.
Life is not fair.
Promises, why do people say things they dont mean?
People lie. Why?
It hurts other.
ok i Lie, i break promises. But i try my hardest not to.
Why does it feel like so many others dont? A word said out loud, has to be ment.
I dont mean saying one thing by accident. I mean intimate promises between friends.
Why are they being thrown away?
Why do people say one thing then do something completly against what they just said. Hypocrites.
Why do others suffer?
Every action has a consequence.
You have to think of others.
We are all connected through relationships ever so distently.
You cant do something and exspect it not to effect someone.
Of course you could do something that effects everyone positively.
But theres is always the opposite of anything.
You cant trust people.
Some people are good, or appear good.
Most people. Somewhere in them are evil. We're Humans.
We were made for good, but Sin came into the world. We have the choice. I know Good is ultimately stronger than evil, but when choice is given to us. Our true nature is showen. Human nature.
When we're given the choice to do evil. Our own selfish human nature shows. When we have evil thoughts and choice, evil gets done.
Hence everyone is evil.
I know i am.
Why must we cause pain to others? Our world is huge. There are millions starving, while we feast on rubbish. Is that not evil? We have choice. We can help if we want to. Do we?
Sometimes not doing something is wrong.
We must try to think of others always. Watch what we say and we promise. Try hard to forgive those that do us wrong. Live in the now but always think of the future.
If everyone thought of others, then we'd all be looked after by each other. Of course we look after ourselves, but if we Loved each other. No one would be lonely. To be Loved you must first Love.
Whoa im a raunter!
No wonder i cant write essays look at that crappy structure. :P
hm. . .
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I'm Sorry.
I'm sorry im a jerk,
I'm sorry i get jealous,
I'm sorry that i hurt,
I just do,
and so im Sorry.
I'm sorry that you did those things,
I know you are to.
I can forgive you,
I just wish you were truthful when i asked,
I wish you told me the whole truth,
I wish you talked with me rather than everyone else,
I especially wish you didnt talk to them.
Please understand,
Im not totally amazing, :')
I only try,
I know your sorry so we can move on now,
I wish will all my soul that you have told me everything that matters,
And if theres more that you do when i ask you,
I pray for you every night, even when i dont know what i feel about God.
But your smile makes me believe.
It hurts lots,
It hurts lots,
But the good times make it worth it.
I am willing to do anything for you.
I hope you feel the same.
Please,
Please,
No more off this deception,
No more lies,
No more of this,
I Love you.
I Love you.
I Love you.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
AHHHH!!!!!!!!! PARA-WHAT-SA'S!?!?! PARABOLA'S!!!
AHH!!! I have a maths test tomorrow! so i should be studying. The sort that might mean you dnt get into a good class next year sorta test! Which would be fine if it was normal maths like Number. . . But its Parabola's! AHHH!!!! FOUR LETTER WORDS THAT ARENT LOVE!!!
So i should be studying, hard out!
But what have i done this evening?
Iv been to town, cd & dvd store, rebel sport, riccarton, pak'n slave, my mums work, skateboarded and had a 5min drum practise! Now im writing this blog instead of doing what i should be doing! STUDY! and HOMEWORK!
I REALLY THINK ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!
AND I DONT FEEL FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(too many '!!!s'?)
Well any how. OPC. I hope i get in. I find out on friday. Im probly one of the un-fittest people there. And that may count against me. But i really want to make the squad. . . Just the training would be great fun. . . And a good in sentive to exercise and get fit! (and ab's :P). I try'd to awnser the questions truthfully. Giving myself quite a low score on all the sections of experience. . . I know im not the best candadate. . . But im praying to get in!
Speaking of Candadates. Obama or Mclain or what ever? :P not that we get a choice! Obama! but he wont win. Americans as a whole are to racist. They'd neverr elect a black. But i hope they surprise me!
Oh well i gotta go study Parabola's! i gotta try and ace this test tomorrow! so off i go!!!
Good luck world! with your test. Life.
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