Well,
Today i helped my dad Dj at Puroa Street School (i think that's what its called) and man it was weird. It was Halloween theme of course it being weeny at the tonight. I was Dressed as a vampire, Dreadlocks and all! :P Man the kids there were mean! They just yelled and one girl said she was going to kick me in the butt! Oh the Violence! Just cause I didn't let her hold the end of the limbo stick. Which to be honest they were completely USE-less at! It made me laugh. I could've gone lower and i was like twice there height. So that made me laugh!
It was fun though, well bets sitting at home doing nothing! Except of all the requests that were made only one was an actual song! The rest were crap! Man proof that Hip-Hop is completely commercialised when Fendalton Kids are requesting them!
Well, now iv just had a large 2x Cheeseburger Combo from McDonalds so I now have no will to sleep for another hour! YAH!!!
Man im confused at the moment. Siobhan, doesnt tell me what im doing to annoy her for ages and i wish she would tell me sooner. Im sorry for being so annoying! But if i dnt know what im doing i can't stop! Surely you must see the wisdom in telling me these things Snugs?
Well yes tomorrow will be interesting! I dont know what might go down. Probly lots of things, I hope though that nothing to bad happens at the Sleep over. I hope people dont do stupid things, I hope I get awnsers. . . Iv been being told for half a week now that is were we'll discus things, so maybe there il get awnsers. . . Maybe everything can change, and we can fix things. MEH!
But who know's? I can only hope and Pray.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Weekend!
Weekend!!!
My weekend was interesting! Saturday the plan was to study. . . Soooo i practised drums and watched Tv! My mum left to go to Chicago, so we had an old fashion movie night! Like Dad, and Jono and me used to do all the time! oh Except we had Chinese instead of McDonald's or KFC but it was still awesome. We watched Iron man which i hadn't seen yet, but man its a cool movie!
I want that suit! except in glossy white with silver and blue edging. . . Like my Halo2 dude! :P
Then the next day, (Sunday!) i played the drums in church. Which was stressful as always! But i didn't stuff up at all this time, well not majorly! Then Nick and I walked to Riccarton, and played at kirkwood schools playground on the way! We then saw "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" and as we left that we saw my Dad and he gave me money to go with him to "Journey to the Centre of the Earth 3D" so me and Nick went to that!
Then on Monday i went SNOWBOARDING!!! YAH!!!! I spent the day boarding with Matt, i did a few rails and a couple of Indies but mostly i just cruised along. It was pretty sweet! Then after that Matt swung by and picked me up and we went surfing at New Brighton! so now iv snowboarded and surfed in the same day! xD
My weekend was interesting! Saturday the plan was to study. . . Soooo i practised drums and watched Tv! My mum left to go to Chicago, so we had an old fashion movie night! Like Dad, and Jono and me used to do all the time! oh Except we had Chinese instead of McDonald's or KFC but it was still awesome. We watched Iron man which i hadn't seen yet, but man its a cool movie!
I want that suit! except in glossy white with silver and blue edging. . . Like my Halo2 dude! :P
Then the next day, (Sunday!) i played the drums in church. Which was stressful as always! But i didn't stuff up at all this time, well not majorly! Then Nick and I walked to Riccarton, and played at kirkwood schools playground on the way! We then saw "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" and as we left that we saw my Dad and he gave me money to go with him to "Journey to the Centre of the Earth 3D" so me and Nick went to that!
Then on Monday i went SNOWBOARDING!!! YAH!!!! I spent the day boarding with Matt, i did a few rails and a couple of Indies but mostly i just cruised along. It was pretty sweet! Then after that Matt swung by and picked me up and we went surfing at New Brighton! so now iv snowboarded and surfed in the same day! xD
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Life.
Life,
Whoa. It's wierd. You do something, you thought you wanted. And now its terrible. I dont want to make that mistake again. I do want to do it again. Just not like that. It just felt completely wrong. And im sure everyone knows what i mean. Even though only one person will know what im on about! :P
Im sorry.
My parents are acting really wierd. Since they heard that Siobhan and i have broken up. My Dad asked me awkward questions. . . Ones i dont have the awnsers to, ones i dont want to think about. Like "Does Siobhan have another Boyfriend?" and "Does she have lots a boys chasing her?" The awnsers, No, and most definatly. He seems to think im handling it very well. But he doesnt know bout the mistakes iv made, or the habits iv developed. He asked me if i was angry at Siobhan. I had thought i wasnt, but yes I am. Actually when i think about it. I'm hurt, and Angry. Theres things I did wrong, Theres things she did wrong. Im angry at the way it's worked out. Im angry at her for the way she treats me. I'm angry.
My Mum i think, is actually being quite horrible about it. I dont think she means to be. I think she's trying to be funny or something. But the comments she makes arent funny. I didnt really need her to tell me that if i ever needed a date i could take her. Wouldnt that be a disaster. . . And horrible. :P maybe some of the things she say's is funny!
I do feel hurt, i feel betrayed. People say wait and it'l work itself out. I want to, but i dont know. . . I'm not sure anymore. I used to be. Now im not sure, she said i scare her when im Angry. She scares me when she's angry.
I dont think she's allowed to be angry at me at the moment though. I didnt do anything to her, nothing like what she did do me. She broke up with me. NOT the other way around. So yes im angry. Maybe thats why it felt so wrong?
Just a thought. I do still want it to feel right again. Im confused. Conflicting feelings, Positive over negitive and confusion. This is Stupid. SO SO stupid. and know i wont type it three times. It looks kinda over dramatic. Although i still support three dots. . .
I can't stop doing everything i used to, but i can fight habits, i can break them. I will stop them. I wont be pathetic. I will hold on just not tightly. I dont need, i just want. I can survive without.
I do need my friends. I do need them. I do need my best friends. I do need my BBF. I would like my GF. But i do not need her. Man this is conflicting. . .
I hope nothing bad happens. I dont need anymore of this confusion. Unless its resolving sorta confusion... Which i guess is kinda awkward oxymoron kinda stuff. When i feel better i'l put pictures back on the page. Thank you to the people that'dv talked to me, through txt or, msn or, bebo messaging. :) I am listening and i appreciate the advice. and amazingly your all right, and your all saying the same thing. So here's to our plan.
P.S. if it goes to custurd i blame you.
P.P.S Im only joking!
Whoa. It's wierd. You do something, you thought you wanted. And now its terrible. I dont want to make that mistake again. I do want to do it again. Just not like that. It just felt completely wrong. And im sure everyone knows what i mean. Even though only one person will know what im on about! :P
Im sorry.
My parents are acting really wierd. Since they heard that Siobhan and i have broken up. My Dad asked me awkward questions. . . Ones i dont have the awnsers to, ones i dont want to think about. Like "Does Siobhan have another Boyfriend?" and "Does she have lots a boys chasing her?" The awnsers, No, and most definatly. He seems to think im handling it very well. But he doesnt know bout the mistakes iv made, or the habits iv developed. He asked me if i was angry at Siobhan. I had thought i wasnt, but yes I am. Actually when i think about it. I'm hurt, and Angry. Theres things I did wrong, Theres things she did wrong. Im angry at the way it's worked out. Im angry at her for the way she treats me. I'm angry.
My Mum i think, is actually being quite horrible about it. I dont think she means to be. I think she's trying to be funny or something. But the comments she makes arent funny. I didnt really need her to tell me that if i ever needed a date i could take her. Wouldnt that be a disaster. . . And horrible. :P maybe some of the things she say's is funny!
I do feel hurt, i feel betrayed. People say wait and it'l work itself out. I want to, but i dont know. . . I'm not sure anymore. I used to be. Now im not sure, she said i scare her when im Angry. She scares me when she's angry.
I dont think she's allowed to be angry at me at the moment though. I didnt do anything to her, nothing like what she did do me. She broke up with me. NOT the other way around. So yes im angry. Maybe thats why it felt so wrong?
Just a thought. I do still want it to feel right again. Im confused. Conflicting feelings, Positive over negitive and confusion. This is Stupid. SO SO stupid. and know i wont type it three times. It looks kinda over dramatic. Although i still support three dots. . .
I can't stop doing everything i used to, but i can fight habits, i can break them. I will stop them. I wont be pathetic. I will hold on just not tightly. I dont need, i just want. I can survive without.
I do need my friends. I do need them. I do need my best friends. I do need my BBF. I would like my GF. But i do not need her. Man this is conflicting. . .
I hope nothing bad happens. I dont need anymore of this confusion. Unless its resolving sorta confusion... Which i guess is kinda awkward oxymoron kinda stuff. When i feel better i'l put pictures back on the page. Thank you to the people that'dv talked to me, through txt or, msn or, bebo messaging. :) I am listening and i appreciate the advice. and amazingly your all right, and your all saying the same thing. So here's to our plan.
P.S. if it goes to custurd i blame you.
P.P.S Im only joking!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Humans
Humans,
Ok. People, individuals. Everyone. We're floored in some way.
Why? We are all equals, but in no way is anyone the same.
Hence people are valued differently.
So we can't be equal can we?
We all have different values.
A thing that is revolting to one person is normal to somethings.
People do wrong and get away with it.
Its not fair.
No one can possibly be equal to anyone else.
Life is just far to complicated.
People do things, mistakes. We hurt others, we scare others, we terrify them, we make them cry. Why do people suffer for other peoples mistake.
Life is not fair.
Promises, why do people say things they dont mean?
People lie. Why?
It hurts other.
ok i Lie, i break promises. But i try my hardest not to.
Why does it feel like so many others dont? A word said out loud, has to be ment.
I dont mean saying one thing by accident. I mean intimate promises between friends.
Why are they being thrown away?
Why do people say one thing then do something completly against what they just said. Hypocrites.
Why do others suffer?
Every action has a consequence.
You have to think of others.
We are all connected through relationships ever so distently.
You cant do something and exspect it not to effect someone.
Of course you could do something that effects everyone positively.
But theres is always the opposite of anything.
You cant trust people.
Some people are good, or appear good.
Most people. Somewhere in them are evil. We're Humans.
We were made for good, but Sin came into the world. We have the choice. I know Good is ultimately stronger than evil, but when choice is given to us. Our true nature is showen. Human nature.
When we're given the choice to do evil. Our own selfish human nature shows. When we have evil thoughts and choice, evil gets done.
Hence everyone is evil.
I know i am.
Why must we cause pain to others? Our world is huge. There are millions starving, while we feast on rubbish. Is that not evil? We have choice. We can help if we want to. Do we?
Sometimes not doing something is wrong.
We must try to think of others always. Watch what we say and we promise. Try hard to forgive those that do us wrong. Live in the now but always think of the future.
If everyone thought of others, then we'd all be looked after by each other. Of course we look after ourselves, but if we Loved each other. No one would be lonely. To be Loved you must first Love.
Whoa im a raunter!
No wonder i cant write essays look at that crappy structure. :P
hm. . .
Ok. People, individuals. Everyone. We're floored in some way.
Why? We are all equals, but in no way is anyone the same.
Hence people are valued differently.
So we can't be equal can we?
We all have different values.
A thing that is revolting to one person is normal to somethings.
People do wrong and get away with it.
Its not fair.
No one can possibly be equal to anyone else.
Life is just far to complicated.
People do things, mistakes. We hurt others, we scare others, we terrify them, we make them cry. Why do people suffer for other peoples mistake.
Life is not fair.
Promises, why do people say things they dont mean?
People lie. Why?
It hurts other.
ok i Lie, i break promises. But i try my hardest not to.
Why does it feel like so many others dont? A word said out loud, has to be ment.
I dont mean saying one thing by accident. I mean intimate promises between friends.
Why are they being thrown away?
Why do people say one thing then do something completly against what they just said. Hypocrites.
Why do others suffer?
Every action has a consequence.
You have to think of others.
We are all connected through relationships ever so distently.
You cant do something and exspect it not to effect someone.
Of course you could do something that effects everyone positively.
But theres is always the opposite of anything.
You cant trust people.
Some people are good, or appear good.
Most people. Somewhere in them are evil. We're Humans.
We were made for good, but Sin came into the world. We have the choice. I know Good is ultimately stronger than evil, but when choice is given to us. Our true nature is showen. Human nature.
When we're given the choice to do evil. Our own selfish human nature shows. When we have evil thoughts and choice, evil gets done.
Hence everyone is evil.
I know i am.
Why must we cause pain to others? Our world is huge. There are millions starving, while we feast on rubbish. Is that not evil? We have choice. We can help if we want to. Do we?
Sometimes not doing something is wrong.
We must try to think of others always. Watch what we say and we promise. Try hard to forgive those that do us wrong. Live in the now but always think of the future.
If everyone thought of others, then we'd all be looked after by each other. Of course we look after ourselves, but if we Loved each other. No one would be lonely. To be Loved you must first Love.
Whoa im a raunter!
No wonder i cant write essays look at that crappy structure. :P
hm. . .
Thursday, October 16, 2008
MP3 Player
I just turned my MP3 player on these were the songs,
Spare me the details - the Offspring
"I'm not the one who messed up big time"
Want you Bad - the Offspring (this song makes me cry)
Bad Medicine - Bon Jovi
Figured You Out - Nickelback (the first half i like. . .)
Question - Goldfinger
Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
Dumb Reminders - No Use For a Name
There will be Revenge - No Use For a Name
Starlite - Young Hearts Attack
My Head - Goldfinger
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
If Only - Goldfinger
The Last Time - Goldfinger
Why Doesnt Anyone Like Me - No Use For a Name
Cherry Pie - Warrent
Love Sick Stumach Ache - Bowling For Soup
Good Night. . .
Spare me the details - the Offspring
"I'm not the one who messed up big time"
Want you Bad - the Offspring (this song makes me cry)
Bad Medicine - Bon Jovi
Figured You Out - Nickelback (the first half i like. . .)
Question - Goldfinger
Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
Dumb Reminders - No Use For a Name
There will be Revenge - No Use For a Name
Starlite - Young Hearts Attack
My Head - Goldfinger
Everlong - Foo Fighters
Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
If Only - Goldfinger
The Last Time - Goldfinger
Why Doesnt Anyone Like Me - No Use For a Name
Cherry Pie - Warrent
Love Sick Stumach Ache - Bowling For Soup
Good Night. . .
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I'm Sorry.
I'm sorry im a jerk,
I'm sorry i get jealous,
I'm sorry that i hurt,
I just do,
and so im Sorry.
I'm sorry that you did those things,
I know you are to.
I can forgive you,
I just wish you were truthful when i asked,
I wish you told me the whole truth,
I wish you talked with me rather than everyone else,
I especially wish you didnt talk to them.
Please understand,
Im not totally amazing, :')
I only try,
I know your sorry so we can move on now,
I wish will all my soul that you have told me everything that matters,
And if theres more that you do when i ask you,
I pray for you every night, even when i dont know what i feel about God.
But your smile makes me believe.
It hurts lots,
It hurts lots,
But the good times make it worth it.
I am willing to do anything for you.
I hope you feel the same.
Please,
Please,
No more off this deception,
No more lies,
No more of this,
I Love you.
I Love you.
I Love you.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
High Cascade!!!
Hello!!!!
Ok, so my Life was a bit rough last week, but it's gotten better. It's not perfect. But nothing ever is. I need to get my restricted soon. And i REALLY need to get more sleep! Im so tired. I havnt gone to sleep before midnight (except thursday when i fell asleep on Siobhans bed while she read. . .) but other than that night iv stay'd up late every night! Especially camp. BLOODY ANNOYING AUSSIES! Nah some of them are awsome. :) But man so are annoying when your trying to get to sleep!
It was great at camp though everyone was awsome. Except Annie the anal Aussie who just did not want anyone to have fun or to be nice to anyone! She was nuts. And not in the good Shazza kinda way! :P (Shazza or Sharon was one of the coaches she was pretty ecstatic all the time! (Like whoa whats she taking. . . And where can i get some?!)) The coaches were awsome, some from USA, one from Aussie, one from chch and my coach Beaven Hall who owned the mountain. He knew absolutly everyone! it was nutz!
Im so going back next year, anyone whos ever wanted to learn how to shred should go to a HighCascade camp. The people, the coaches, the free stuff! All awsome! and the foods not too bad. Better than i exspected anyway.
Well camps made me decided im gonna learn to skateboard. Seeing as you can do that all year and not snowboard. :(
Im considering going on an exchange, like during our summer so i can board more! YAH!!!
I <3>
Im getting a highlight video off camp, so il try to put that on my bebo at some point
Well Im tired. So i should sleep! Good night world. Sleep well. I miss some of you! I'm better than last week :)
Thank You.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Back from camp.
Camp was awsome.
But this week has been hell. . .
I hate everything. I want to cry. I hurt. I'm lonely. I hate this.
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody kill me.
And i had a bethany pulled on me. . . not a major one
but still
Kill me. NOW! If you loved me you would.
I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT!!!
I was having a great week. missing Siobhan and every one else. On wednesday i got dumped. I managed to hold it together. But now im crashing. I had a question bugging me and i got a truthful awnser but its not the one i wanted.
FUCK!!!
I need someone to talk to. . . But i feel like i got nobody that'd understand. . .
I thought it was going so well. . . Sure it wasnt perfect but perfects only in movies.
I want to be horrible. I want to forgive. I want to kill. Somebody shot me. . .
I want to bet you up. I want you to hold me and tell me it was all a nightmare.
This is Life. It sucks. It sucks hard.
But this week has been hell. . .
I hate everything. I want to cry. I hurt. I'm lonely. I hate this.
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody kill me.
And i had a bethany pulled on me. . . not a major one
but still
Kill me. NOW! If you loved me you would.
I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT!!!
I was having a great week. missing Siobhan and every one else. On wednesday i got dumped. I managed to hold it together. But now im crashing. I had a question bugging me and i got a truthful awnser but its not the one i wanted.
FUCK!!!
I need someone to talk to. . . But i feel like i got nobody that'd understand. . .
I thought it was going so well. . . Sure it wasnt perfect but perfects only in movies.
I want to be horrible. I want to forgive. I want to kill. Somebody shot me. . .
I want to bet you up. I want you to hold me and tell me it was all a nightmare.
This is Life. It sucks. It sucks hard.
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