I have a new theory, on life the universe. Everything. It is that we, us humans enjoy chaos. Secretly we love it when life gives us chaos, gives us the unexpected the horrible, the amazing, the joy, the pain and hurt. We love the happening the adventure that the chaos brings. When there is no chaos in our lives we bring it our selves! We create it through alcohol lubrication acts of stupidness, or saying what we know is the wrong thing to the wrong person because it gives us kicks, the head spin we're looking for the stomach lurch we long for the adventure we crave.
I for one, could sit down and just do things, but no I prefer the chaos, I would rather not do useful things but play ours of video games, not study but spend time talking to friends that most probably won't be around once this chapter in our lives ends. When the chaos of life pulls us apart. Think of all that could be achieved if we did away with procrastination and just did, didn't think or ponder or daydream just did. We did what we wanted to do, what we really wanted to do, chase our goals properly with all our bones. Some people do, but I don't. Its the chaos, we love the chaos, we love the mystery of it all.
I sit here now wondering why, why is there this chaos, why can't I just live without this chaos. A large amount of its in my head, I know I imagine insanities, worlds where this happens or that happens because these decisions were made at this point in time. Parallel dimensions, its such a waste of time because there is only this world, this life.
To be honest I'm not sure if this makes sense, its simply a 2.30am rant. Happy adventures world!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Hm....
So grades are out, not as amazing as I would've liked but sadly what I probably deserve. Lesson LEARN STUFF IN THE SEMESTER! Don't give up, get distracted, try and chase girls. Waste of time, especially if by some divine power you continue on your course of only chasing messed up ones!
My grades weren't so bad for me to curl up wishing to disappear, but when one needs an atleast an A- average combined with an aced UMAT score to get into there desired second year course a B, two B+'s and an A just doesn't quite cut the mustard. My average as it stands is a B+ Which with some luck and hard study I should be able to bump up. If I can survive, stay focused and not get distracted. This means, no staying up late during semester, no going to town, no drinking, no wasting time on girls, but hey I'm a fresher so that's never going to happen! All I can do is try my best and that's what I plan on doing.
My grades weren't so bad for me to curl up wishing to disappear, but when one needs an atleast an A- average combined with an aced UMAT score to get into there desired second year course a B, two B+'s and an A just doesn't quite cut the mustard. My average as it stands is a B+ Which with some luck and hard study I should be able to bump up. If I can survive, stay focused and not get distracted. This means, no staying up late during semester, no going to town, no drinking, no wasting time on girls, but hey I'm a fresher so that's never going to happen! All I can do is try my best and that's what I plan on doing.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Semester One
Well a semester has past in that time I severely failed at many things, blogging, doing substantial study to make med, getting over aspects of my old life. I have learned a lot of exciting interesting things. I can now name a number of bones and muscles in the body, hormones and hormone pathways, about cells and organelles eugenics and pathogens, do exciting physics equations and not so exciting chemistry ones.
I have also learned that a lot of the time people are a distraction. Be careful who you fall for, do your research it'll stop you getting yourself into a pickle, and sometimes boysonberry cider can lead you unfortunate evenings at other peoples halls. Leading to large misunderstandings, stupid irresponsible things said and phone calls from drunken fathers you never expected to hear from ever again claiming to be that persons mother!
All and all uni life has been a lot of the expected and some of the unexpected but in general a lot more interesting and less depressing than school life. New things to do. Lectures, town, lan parties, hanging in bedrooms till we hours of the morning. Canoe polo every week, several times a week, in a pool that wasn't ravenged by horrid earthquakes! One day I'll truely understand at least some of all this stuff, and know the direction of my adventure but right now I guess just go with the ride. Try to survive and see where the current of life takes me...
I know this is just ranting, this blog is mainly for me. I enjoy looking back and seeing the weirdness I've recorded and remembering events good and bad. It amuses me. Comment if you wish.
I have also learned that a lot of the time people are a distraction. Be careful who you fall for, do your research it'll stop you getting yourself into a pickle, and sometimes boysonberry cider can lead you unfortunate evenings at other peoples halls. Leading to large misunderstandings, stupid irresponsible things said and phone calls from drunken fathers you never expected to hear from ever again claiming to be that persons mother!
All and all uni life has been a lot of the expected and some of the unexpected but in general a lot more interesting and less depressing than school life. New things to do. Lectures, town, lan parties, hanging in bedrooms till we hours of the morning. Canoe polo every week, several times a week, in a pool that wasn't ravenged by horrid earthquakes! One day I'll truely understand at least some of all this stuff, and know the direction of my adventure but right now I guess just go with the ride. Try to survive and see where the current of life takes me...
I know this is just ranting, this blog is mainly for me. I enjoy looking back and seeing the weirdness I've recorded and remembering events good and bad. It amuses me. Comment if you wish.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Otago Update
Uni's alright, not that its started yet, the summer school course I'm on is pretty intense with about 5 & 1/2hrs of physics class time then about an hour of homework, but its less than I'll have to do when the semester starts! I've been told a minimum of 8hrs studying + a day more if I want to make the cut. Which is basically a 9-5 job + a bit of over time so not unreasonable if you work 6 days a week for 8-9 hrs. Luckily it wont all be physics cause that stuff is a bit argh when it gets beyond ones self or the answer doesn't come after a few minutes of pondering, I'll have chem & bio & anatomy as well! So at least a few different things to do when my brain feels like its going to explode with numbers! Not that I don't enjoy this new physics stuff, its quite fun when you look at a question and are like a hah! I know how to solve that! :)
The university itself is pretty awesome lots of old buildings (well on a NZ scale) The room in the temporary hostel im staying in at the moment looks out over a bell tower. I'm moving on friday though to my hostel for the whole year I'm excited, a permanent uni-base a new uni "family" and a room twice the size! (Not to mention the one I'm moving to is supposed to have MUCH better food!).
Theirs about 200 spots in med school for people doing
the first year course I am and over 1400 people on the course! Of course some people arent aiming for med, and some well you don't have to have a PHD to figure out that they're really here to party. Oh well only 36 weeks of my life give it my all and then I'll know if this is for me or not! Whoop!
I've already hooked into canoe polo down here which is awesome I'm getting in as much time on the water before things get even more intense. They're really nice down here all the older canoe polo guys are happy to train us up and are basically just happy for the company which is good cause otherwise they'd quickly get feed up with my crap-ness. Learning lots of new skills and should be able to smash the locals when I get back to Christchurch. . Well at least have improved heaps!!!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Theme Thusday - Turn
Well tonight is my last night at home as tomorrow I pack the final things I need and head off for uni. Well for summer school. I'm doing a course before uni actually starts.
It's all sorta hitting me now a bit though. On the last day of school it wasn't that hard I mean oh well I don't have to come here anymore, sit in a room with you people who I don't like just to see those people who I do like. I mean ending something like schools easy when you have all those people around.
Tomorrow I get to jump in my car drive for 5hours by myself to another city, where besides the odd family friend that I've meet once or twice in my life, or the guy I meet at canoe polo once, I know no one! It's crazy. Right now I'm kinda thinking that I'm gonna jump in my car drive to the next down chicken out and turn around and come back!
I'm not really a very brave person, sometimes I'm catatonicly shy. I'm horrible asking for things talking to cashiers and the like. I freeze up for no reason at all.
This adventure leaving the nice safety of home, where mum does the washing, dad cooks the dinner, and my brothers always there to annoy the hell outta me IS the scariest thing I've ever done. I hope when I get down there My nerves calm down a bit. I'm really quite nervous.
Tonight I went out for dinner with my family and my dad asked me what I was most looking forward to in Dunedin, I had no answers. The place seems terrifying now. I hope, and pray that I do ok. That the nightmare I'm creating in my head won't come true and that this new chapter in my life is truely an Adventure.
I want to turn around say I'm staying home, but I'm committed now, hostels, and course fees have been payed, student loans are ready to be posted. Lets hope I can stick to the planned course.
Wish me luck!
It's all sorta hitting me now a bit though. On the last day of school it wasn't that hard I mean oh well I don't have to come here anymore, sit in a room with you people who I don't like just to see those people who I do like. I mean ending something like schools easy when you have all those people around.
Tomorrow I get to jump in my car drive for 5hours by myself to another city, where besides the odd family friend that I've meet once or twice in my life, or the guy I meet at canoe polo once, I know no one! It's crazy. Right now I'm kinda thinking that I'm gonna jump in my car drive to the next down chicken out and turn around and come back!
I'm not really a very brave person, sometimes I'm catatonicly shy. I'm horrible asking for things talking to cashiers and the like. I freeze up for no reason at all.
This adventure leaving the nice safety of home, where mum does the washing, dad cooks the dinner, and my brothers always there to annoy the hell outta me IS the scariest thing I've ever done. I hope when I get down there My nerves calm down a bit. I'm really quite nervous.
Tonight I went out for dinner with my family and my dad asked me what I was most looking forward to in Dunedin, I had no answers. The place seems terrifying now. I hope, and pray that I do ok. That the nightmare I'm creating in my head won't come true and that this new chapter in my life is truely an Adventure.
I want to turn around say I'm staying home, but I'm committed now, hostels, and course fees have been payed, student loans are ready to be posted. Lets hope I can stick to the planned course.
Wish me luck!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
That Girl is like a Sunburn
Hello Bloggy world!
I could say I've been to busy to blog recently but that'd be a downright lie. I have been house sitting though which was a fun, if expensive and probably badly timed experience considering I have just over 3 weeks before I head off to uni.
Currently I'm screwed as I have no student loan and I have about $400 in my savings. . . If I can hold onto it and fight the urge to buy Polo gear.
I have also been playing heaps of polo, I Love this sport. I wish I'd found it earliar so I'd be better and then It would be feasible to go to trails and get into an epic team. . . But I didn't even make my school A team being my first year playing. . . And missed out on a regional team, well I couldn't roll then. . . I sound a tad bitter don't I. Oh well I can make up for that, I'm getting my own gear I've got my $50 boat, getting my $700 Paddle (Ordering it cheap from the UK works out to be $400-$500, when the shop tells me how much postage would be!!!) Looking for a helmet, and other such handy polo thingys. I'm also throwing a ball against a wall practically everyday for 15-20mins and when I get to dunners and am staying in a hostel with a weights room I plan to start weights training to get my long shots down. Now I'm just blabbering on about Canoe Polo. . . My mum hates it when I talk about it, but hey I can't help what I get obsessed about!
Tomorrow I'm off with the fam-bam to Kayak the Abel Tasman, should be an epic adventure, even though my parents and my brother weren't the people I originally planned on having it with. Times change, people change, life's stressful ain't it.
During my house sitting I had my mate Jonny over we playing 360 had a ball, he's one of those people where you can not see them for years and then they're there and its like they never left. It's awesome to have these friends they're like auto save friends. I wonder how many other auto save friends I have.
I had other people over people from school, I invited quite a few people over but tonnes of them were busy it was a tad of a downer. . . Especially New Years when the people who said they were coming didn't show up and forgot to text me. . . Oh well I got to hunt defenceless animals in Red Dead Redemption and finish the story mission. Awesome game by the way. Do get it!
I sure can blabber. . . Hopefully my next post will be sooner and more worthy of being read.
I could say I've been to busy to blog recently but that'd be a downright lie. I have been house sitting though which was a fun, if expensive and probably badly timed experience considering I have just over 3 weeks before I head off to uni.
Currently I'm screwed as I have no student loan and I have about $400 in my savings. . . If I can hold onto it and fight the urge to buy Polo gear.
I have also been playing heaps of polo, I Love this sport. I wish I'd found it earliar so I'd be better and then It would be feasible to go to trails and get into an epic team. . . But I didn't even make my school A team being my first year playing. . . And missed out on a regional team, well I couldn't roll then. . . I sound a tad bitter don't I. Oh well I can make up for that, I'm getting my own gear I've got my $50 boat, getting my $700 Paddle (Ordering it cheap from the UK works out to be $400-$500, when the shop tells me how much postage would be!!!) Looking for a helmet, and other such handy polo thingys. I'm also throwing a ball against a wall practically everyday for 15-20mins and when I get to dunners and am staying in a hostel with a weights room I plan to start weights training to get my long shots down. Now I'm just blabbering on about Canoe Polo. . . My mum hates it when I talk about it, but hey I can't help what I get obsessed about!
Tomorrow I'm off with the fam-bam to Kayak the Abel Tasman, should be an epic adventure, even though my parents and my brother weren't the people I originally planned on having it with. Times change, people change, life's stressful ain't it.
During my house sitting I had my mate Jonny over we playing 360 had a ball, he's one of those people where you can not see them for years and then they're there and its like they never left. It's awesome to have these friends they're like auto save friends. I wonder how many other auto save friends I have.
I had other people over people from school, I invited quite a few people over but tonnes of them were busy it was a tad of a downer. . . Especially New Years when the people who said they were coming didn't show up and forgot to text me. . . Oh well I got to hunt defenceless animals in Red Dead Redemption and finish the story mission. Awesome game by the way. Do get it!
I sure can blabber. . . Hopefully my next post will be sooner and more worthy of being read.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Delete!
As I sat on my bed holding my digital camera deleting photos from the last year, I thought wow what alot has changed.
I also thought I haven't really blogged in a while.
I'm useless at keeping my memory card cleared, I was deleting photo's of last Christmas which was an awesome day, spent it with family and people I love. Then the weeks following Christmas. Lots of photo's of the person who at the time featured predominately in my life. I had thought about deleting the memory sooner, thought it'd be too hard. Now when I do it, its easy. Too easy, can losing those pictures and cleansing the memory card in order to forget the memory be that easy this quickly? To make it worse, I look at them an now instead of thinking wow. I'm critical, it's funny what you notice with some of the happiness and the warm fuzzy feelings gone. So much easier to be a bitch. Not that any of it matters at all. Anyhow I should probably sleep I've been challenged to try and get somewhere at 9am tomorrow morning. Fully not gonna happen but its worth a half hearted shot!
Hopefully I can organise myself in the next few days to post about the epic tramp I went on a few days ago & hopefully this is before my weekend gets flooded with the best thing in town. Canoe Polo! Awesomely theirs a tournament coming up, gonna be sick! :)
I also thought I haven't really blogged in a while.
I'm useless at keeping my memory card cleared, I was deleting photo's of last Christmas which was an awesome day, spent it with family and people I love. Then the weeks following Christmas. Lots of photo's of the person who at the time featured predominately in my life. I had thought about deleting the memory sooner, thought it'd be too hard. Now when I do it, its easy. Too easy, can losing those pictures and cleansing the memory card in order to forget the memory be that easy this quickly? To make it worse, I look at them an now instead of thinking wow. I'm critical, it's funny what you notice with some of the happiness and the warm fuzzy feelings gone. So much easier to be a bitch. Not that any of it matters at all. Anyhow I should probably sleep I've been challenged to try and get somewhere at 9am tomorrow morning. Fully not gonna happen but its worth a half hearted shot!
Hopefully I can organise myself in the next few days to post about the epic tramp I went on a few days ago & hopefully this is before my weekend gets flooded with the best thing in town. Canoe Polo! Awesomely theirs a tournament coming up, gonna be sick! :)
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