Well tonight is my last night at home as tomorrow I pack the final things I need and head off for uni. Well for summer school. I'm doing a course before uni actually starts.
It's all sorta hitting me now a bit though. On the last day of school it wasn't that hard I mean oh well I don't have to come here anymore, sit in a room with you people who I don't like just to see those people who I do like. I mean ending something like schools easy when you have all those people around.
Tomorrow I get to jump in my car drive for 5hours by myself to another city, where besides the odd family friend that I've meet once or twice in my life, or the guy I meet at canoe polo once, I know no one! It's crazy. Right now I'm kinda thinking that I'm gonna jump in my car drive to the next down chicken out and turn around and come back!
I'm not really a very brave person, sometimes I'm catatonicly shy. I'm horrible asking for things talking to cashiers and the like. I freeze up for no reason at all.
This adventure leaving the nice safety of home, where mum does the washing, dad cooks the dinner, and my brothers always there to annoy the hell outta me IS the scariest thing I've ever done. I hope when I get down there My nerves calm down a bit. I'm really quite nervous.
Tonight I went out for dinner with my family and my dad asked me what I was most looking forward to in Dunedin, I had no answers. The place seems terrifying now. I hope, and pray that I do ok. That the nightmare I'm creating in my head won't come true and that this new chapter in my life is truely an Adventure.
I want to turn around say I'm staying home, but I'm committed now, hostels, and course fees have been payed, student loans are ready to be posted. Lets hope I can stick to the planned course.
Wish me luck!
2 comments:
dont turn you will be ok and you will love it...some of the best years....best wishes man
Certainly a turning point.
This from 59 yrs. facing the world: very little , if anything, ever turns out to be as bad as you imagine.
You seem to be quite sensitive, and for some reason I find it comforting to know that such a one is persuing the fine art of medicine. Er, if that's the kind of doctor you refer to in your "about me."
At any rate, go for it(do what's in your heart). We're pullin' for ya(figure out what "think for yourself" means). And you can always blog your heart out about it right here. Awaiting your next entry...
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