Love

Those that have spend to long talking about it.
Those that had it spend to long lamenting it.
Those that have never had it down play it to them selves in there mind.

Is it truly better to have Loved and lost that to never loved at all? At least with the never loved at all one can live in a world of self-deception free from the aches of the heart? Surely to have had Love and lost it would be to have never had true love at all?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Love is always. So if it is always then true love is eternal. So if "love" flickers and disbands. Then was this "love" true? was it there ever? Was that feeling really love? Or is everyone responsible for this love. We are the misguided and foolish youth, growing up on British pop songs and romantic comedies. We don't understand life, and we never will.

Is understanding what is important, does it bring happiness or is bliss the happier past. One of my friends when I joke to him about girls, and oh she's cute she works where you wok maybe you should try to get to know her. He always responds with anger. Is his anger from a deep sense of refusing to become aware? Or is it from a truly pessimistic view of the world? Where nothing ever works out as planned. Which is true to a point. I would say, nothing ever turns out as planned but sometimes things are better than you can ever imagine. Sometimes things suck.

A new Focus day.

Today at my school we had Christian Focus day. A day where we put aside our regular school classes, go somewhere else and go through a number of sessions designed to present us with a christian perception of key life issues facing us today.

Today was about Alcohol, Abortion, STD's, and biblical investigation into Love and Lust.

The alcohol one, was nothing that new, it just presented us with stats why alcohol shouldn't be so avaliable, it was presented ok, even though the guy presenting it looked like a smaller nervous Nicolas Cage. I was surprised that when he asked people in my group who thought the legal drinking age in New Zealand should be raised to 20 I was the only person who raised my hand. I see alcohol hurting my friends, and it's partly to blame for some events in my life that have hurt me. I do think that my life and that of my peers would benefit from Alcohol being avaliable later in life to us.

Abortion, was more about the growth of a baby from conception, and it challanged us with what we believed, things like when is a Fetis a person, when is it alive. Things that I hadn't really ever considered until now. I'm still not sure if I'm certain of how I would awnser those questions. I was shocked to find that in NZ abortion is legal for severe disabilities up to 40 weeks. Which is right before the baby is born so obviously; my government believes life begins at birth.

STD's was gross, we saw pictures and were told about the dangers of different STD's, I already new that I didn't want to be a person that would fool around with people or kiss strangers. Now I have another reason to up hold my morales, and belief and hopefully help me abstaine until marriage. (something thats probably quite easy to say after a break up)

The Love and Lust one was the one I found most interesting, I don't know why but I voluntered to go in the Love group. I was curious to what the bible says about Love. We ended up reading some of the Songs of Solomen, and interupting it as best we could hoping to find a big picture. We found that God created sex to be beautiful for us. When it is done with one person that we Love with all our heart and mind and soul, that then Sex with complete Love is beautiful. I also learned that Love is strong, Love is shy, Love is selfless sacrifice.

At the end of the Love one I was feeling down, until I realised something that should help me get through this hard time. Love is selfless sacrifice, I know I love someone and want to show them that, but I have been struggling internally about what I want, because at the moment I'm not what they want. This means to truely Love them I must let go, not be selfish and want them, because this will not bring me happiness, if they're with me and don't feel the same back. I have already experienced that during a period of time where most of our relationship was lust. All it brought both of us was pain. I must move on to show my Love for my ex. For leaving them and letting them be happy with someone else is True Love, even if its not the Romantic Love I dreamt of having with them.

Music Moves my Soul

I was thinking just now, as i walked down the stairs. Music moves my soul, well my mind. Music has the power to make a great day better, a bad day worse, a alright day alrightier. Do you get it?

Some examples, when life and relationships and stuff are going great and you've just spent a great day with that special someone a song like "All the Small things" by blink 182 or "Trucker Hat" by Bowling for Soup make everything more smiley.

On a crap shit day, when its raining outside and in your mind and in your heart. Everythings miserable, relationships not working the way you want them to. "Down" or "Always" by blink 182 and "Where'd you go?" byFort Minor makes it all more that sorta way.

When your lonely and missing someone terribly and you want them to come back to you, from Tahiti songs like; "Hold Me Tight" by the Beatles/Across the Universe (coverers), "I Miss You" by blink 182, "Verona" Elemeno P, heaps of other songs that make you think of them bring those feelings of missing, wanting to be with that person. "I want to hold your hand" by the Beatles. "All I want (Next to You)" the Offspring

I guess what im saying is that music, can connect to your heart and mind your very soul and reflect your mood, amplify it make it bigger, stronger, block out other emotions. Well thats what it does to me, I like songs that say something to me, i dont like pointless crap that doesnt really make sence, that i cant relate to in anyway. Like why would i let someone suck my Lollypop? Why would that appeal to anyone? Ok I admit a few pointless songs songs slip through, songs that on a happy day, make me happy cause they're about a cowardly dog that needs to come and save the day. Everyone needs that Dog to help them out! :P I dont understand some songs, they're good songs, i just cant see how they connect to me, how they can add to me or anything, so they dont make it.

So to finish this all off, what songs amplify your emotions? Bring up certain feelings in you when you hear them or did once upon a time? Im curious to know. If you make a entry on your own blog leave a comment here first so i can check it out, I'd Love to read what songs work for you.

Christmas dinner?!

Hello there peoples, and persons!

Well today was apparently christmas dinner. Its weird cause its not even december yet. But we still had a christmas dinner. With all the cousins that like in chch and Nana. It was mildly not boring. It meant i had to get up by like 12 though. When my cousins started to arrive!

We played Halo2 and ate food. That was that not at all entirely exciting at all! But what is? Everythings just painful and slow, and boring.

Well this was a pointlessly stupid entry. . .

Yes quite.

AH!!!

Exams soon, im a bit worried. But not to much. . . Im gonna study lots on Thursday and Monday. So i should be all good! Im just stressed over other things. Its almost been a month. And nothings getting better. Well it doesnt seem to be anyway. And that makes me sad.

Im worried about other people. I wish people could be happy! I miss old times when it was fun. Before everyone got confused and screwed up and stressed! I wish people knew what they wanted.

I dont really know what im going to be when i grow up. I wish i did. I dont want a job. Works lame. Rather just sit in a room and do nothing.

I need to get more money i have $1.10 in my bank account at the moment. SO POOR!!! Im slowly eating through my cash supply. I think i need to start taking my lunch when i go out and taking a drink bottle. Save me like $8 a time! Thats over half my money per week! Theres a plan!

I got 2nd in Economic's. Im annoyed at myself, i shouldv studied for the tests now. . . No one ever remembers second place. People dont say well done im proud of you. They always go "Who came first?" next year im going to work harder, i want to get first in something.

I dont know how i feel about myself, I used to think i was smart, but im not, im average. I used to think i was kind and people would turn to me when they needed to talk, but they dont. I used to be happy all the time, but now im not. I rarely feel happy, happy. Most the time its just what can i do so im not sitting on my arse in front of the computer. People invite me to things but its not overly thrilling. Just average. I used to look forward to seeing people, now most people i dread it. I used to think people wanted to see me. Now i feel like baggage, i dont normally get a smile. If i do i get ditched for someone else if they come along. Maybe im boring?

Who know's i dont!

Im so tired. . . I need to go to bed on time. Prize giving tonight. I have to go sit through 2hrs+ of people getting 1st in this and 1st in that! So depressingly boring! Good for them though. But i only feel pride for a few people who won. I dont know if they care entirely that i do or understand how proud I am of them. I feel like everyone's growing with new relationships and im not. Everyone's making new friends and im not needed like i used to be, and im losing my place in peoples lives.

Maybe im just a grizzling. . .

Im going to go do something now!

Have fun in this game of life!

My weekend!

So, in the weekend i went to a party!

WHOA! at my friend Hannah's house. We were safe because her big brother checked up on us every we while. Some people drunk so much and did so many stupid things! it was funny to watch. I only drunk the one pulse. Tastes like energy drink! It was nice but i drunk it slowly!
Its funny how people are different when the're drunk do things they'd never normally do. PEOPLE they'd never noramally do. Next time im taking like a camera to take video's cause people act so halirious!

Especilly when we put young Jovan into "the box" he had no idea what was going on! It was so so so funny!!!

And there were lots of halirious quotes! look on Siobhan's page if you'd like to read some!
It was a fun evening, except someone binge drunk well two people, and they through up all over my stuff. . . So i had to make up a cover story for the old Parentals!

Well i gotta go to school il blog more after youth group.

Bye!

HellO!

Well,
Today i helped my dad Dj at Puroa Street School (i think that's what its called) and man it was weird. It was Halloween theme of course it being weeny at the tonight. I was Dressed as a vampire, Dreadlocks and all! :P Man the kids there were mean! They just yelled and one girl said she was going to kick me in the butt! Oh the Violence! Just cause I didn't let her hold the end of the limbo stick. Which to be honest they were completely USE-less at! It made me laugh. I could've gone lower and i was like twice there height. So that made me laugh!

It was fun though, well bets sitting at home doing nothing! Except of all the requests that were made only one was an actual song! The rest were crap! Man proof that Hip-Hop is completely commercialised when Fendalton Kids are requesting them!

Well, now iv just had a large 2x Cheeseburger Combo from McDonalds so I now have no will to sleep for another hour! YAH!!!

Man im confused at the moment. Siobhan, doesnt tell me what im doing to annoy her for ages and i wish she would tell me sooner. Im sorry for being so annoying! But if i dnt know what im doing i can't stop! Surely you must see the wisdom in telling me these things Snugs?

Well yes tomorrow will be interesting! I dont know what might go down. Probly lots of things, I hope though that nothing to bad happens at the Sleep over. I hope people dont do stupid things, I hope I get awnsers. . . Iv been being told for half a week now that is were we'll discus things, so maybe there il get awnsers. . . Maybe everything can change, and we can fix things. MEH!

But who know's? I can only hope and Pray.

Humans

Humans,
Ok. People, individuals. Everyone. We're floored in some way.
Why? We are all equals, but in no way is anyone the same.
Hence people are valued differently.
So we can't be equal can we?

We all have different values.
A thing that is revolting to one person is normal to somethings.
People do wrong and get away with it.

Its not fair.
No one can possibly be equal to anyone else.

Life is just far to complicated.

People do things, mistakes. We hurt others, we scare others, we terrify them, we make them cry. Why do people suffer for other peoples mistake.

Life is not fair.

Promises, why do people say things they dont mean?
People lie. Why?
It hurts other.

ok i Lie, i break promises. But i try my hardest not to.

Why does it feel like so many others dont? A word said out loud, has to be ment.

I dont mean saying one thing by accident. I mean intimate promises between friends.
Why are they being thrown away?

Why do people say one thing then do something completly against what they just said. Hypocrites.

Why do others suffer?
Every action has a consequence.
You have to think of others.
We are all connected through relationships ever so distently.

You cant do something and exspect it not to effect someone.

Of course you could do something that effects everyone positively.
But theres is always the opposite of anything.

You cant trust people.
Some people are good, or appear good.
Most people. Somewhere in them are evil. We're Humans.
We were made for good, but Sin came into the world. We have the choice. I know Good is ultimately stronger than evil, but when choice is given to us. Our true nature is showen. Human nature.
When we're given the choice to do evil. Our own selfish human nature shows. When we have evil thoughts and choice, evil gets done.

Hence everyone is evil.

I know i am.

Why must we cause pain to others? Our world is huge. There are millions starving, while we feast on rubbish. Is that not evil? We have choice. We can help if we want to. Do we?
Sometimes not doing something is wrong.

We must try to think of others always. Watch what we say and we promise. Try hard to forgive those that do us wrong. Live in the now but always think of the future.

If everyone thought of others, then we'd all be looked after by each other. Of course we look after ourselves, but if we Loved each other. No one would be lonely. To be Loved you must first Love.


Whoa im a raunter!
No wonder i cant write essays look at that crappy structure. :P
hm. . .