Love

Those that have spend to long talking about it.
Those that had it spend to long lamenting it.
Those that have never had it down play it to them selves in there mind.

Is it truly better to have Loved and lost that to never loved at all? At least with the never loved at all one can live in a world of self-deception free from the aches of the heart? Surely to have had Love and lost it would be to have never had true love at all?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love never fails....And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Love is always. So if it is always then true love is eternal. So if "love" flickers and disbands. Then was this "love" true? was it there ever? Was that feeling really love? Or is everyone responsible for this love. We are the misguided and foolish youth, growing up on British pop songs and romantic comedies. We don't understand life, and we never will.

Is understanding what is important, does it bring happiness or is bliss the happier past. One of my friends when I joke to him about girls, and oh she's cute she works where you wok maybe you should try to get to know her. He always responds with anger. Is his anger from a deep sense of refusing to become aware? Or is it from a truly pessimistic view of the world? Where nothing ever works out as planned. Which is true to a point. I would say, nothing ever turns out as planned but sometimes things are better than you can ever imagine. Sometimes things suck.

Infinate Worries and Stresses

My auntie who seems to me to be thoroughly wise as all things she says into my life come true eventually. Has come to stay again. And she made another scary prediction, much like her last such deadly one. Perhaps the last one wasn't a prediction but a realistic or pessimistic view. It Was one time when she came to stay Siobhan was over. Once Siobhan had left my auntie was asked by my mum if she liked Siobhan. My Aunt said something along the lines of Siobhan who? That girl that was just here oh she was nice, i didn't bother getting to know her cause it wont last and I'll never see her again with a laugh. At the time this was incredibly cruel I kinda shunned my auntie for the rest of her visit but she was right.
This latest prediction was to do with university, she reckons I'm gonna drink a lot. Which I've made up my mind to stay well away from. Next year is Study, Sport, Study, Church, Study, Study oh and did I mention Study? This is so I CAN get into med school. Alcohol is a useless distraction which alters the brain and helps people make decisions they regret later. If you can have fun without alcohol something is sad so very sad. Anyway that's my opinion! Most of the people I know do not drink sensibly and are always like ALCOHOL! WHOA! YEAH! We need to get some of that! whoop! Which is stupid when they get it they drink to much and do really stupid things. When in my opinion being sober and hanging out doing stuff is much more fun. Alcohol doesn't even taste nice! Why drink it when we can have ginger beer or coke? Much tastier beverages! Anyway that's me for my Thursday night rant. I was in the mood to rant. . .

Distant Passenger

Right now I don't feel like I'm living my life, I'm doing a lot. Runs, exercise, geocaching hanging out with people. It all seems pretty pointless though. Theres nothing to it. Its all empty. I want to lock myself in my room and just stay there. Better yet I want this year to go quicker so I can get away. Perhaps in Otago with the distance and the not having to deal with seeing you all the time it will get easier to get back the control of my life.
Perhaps its not you but I'm just looking for a scape goat for my lamenting. To explain why everything seems so utterly pointless all the time. I need to do something meaningful, save someones life, jump of a cliff or something to get some life juice flowing and then I need to keep that juice around and not let it be sucked out of me at school again. My holidays were awesome when I didn't remember things. At what point will I be able to look back on my memories and smile, or at least feel indifferent?
Oh Ranting. . .
Anyway I got offered a place to stay at Salmond College in dunners, and I think I'm gonna take it after I ask my auntie a bit more about it when she comes to stay tomorrow as it wasn't my first choice, and no one else I know of is going there, they all got into St. Margaret's! Oh well the idea of going to Otago was to start something knew make new friends and get away from events of this year. Oh and to study of course!