AH!!!

Exams soon, im a bit worried. But not to much. . . Im gonna study lots on Thursday and Monday. So i should be all good! Im just stressed over other things. Its almost been a month. And nothings getting better. Well it doesnt seem to be anyway. And that makes me sad.

Im worried about other people. I wish people could be happy! I miss old times when it was fun. Before everyone got confused and screwed up and stressed! I wish people knew what they wanted.

I dont really know what im going to be when i grow up. I wish i did. I dont want a job. Works lame. Rather just sit in a room and do nothing.

I need to get more money i have $1.10 in my bank account at the moment. SO POOR!!! Im slowly eating through my cash supply. I think i need to start taking my lunch when i go out and taking a drink bottle. Save me like $8 a time! Thats over half my money per week! Theres a plan!

I got 2nd in Economic's. Im annoyed at myself, i shouldv studied for the tests now. . . No one ever remembers second place. People dont say well done im proud of you. They always go "Who came first?" next year im going to work harder, i want to get first in something.

I dont know how i feel about myself, I used to think i was smart, but im not, im average. I used to think i was kind and people would turn to me when they needed to talk, but they dont. I used to be happy all the time, but now im not. I rarely feel happy, happy. Most the time its just what can i do so im not sitting on my arse in front of the computer. People invite me to things but its not overly thrilling. Just average. I used to look forward to seeing people, now most people i dread it. I used to think people wanted to see me. Now i feel like baggage, i dont normally get a smile. If i do i get ditched for someone else if they come along. Maybe im boring?

Who know's i dont!

Im so tired. . . I need to go to bed on time. Prize giving tonight. I have to go sit through 2hrs+ of people getting 1st in this and 1st in that! So depressingly boring! Good for them though. But i only feel pride for a few people who won. I dont know if they care entirely that i do or understand how proud I am of them. I feel like everyone's growing with new relationships and im not. Everyone's making new friends and im not needed like i used to be, and im losing my place in peoples lives.

Maybe im just a grizzling. . .

Im going to go do something now!

Have fun in this game of life!