And I felt alone, on my balcony. . .

Well today has been one spent in near seclusion. My only company being a farting dog, a snuggly cat, and an old women telling me her life story.

I was asleep, and i was woken because my Dad needed phone numbers off his cellphone that he'd left in Christchurch. (He's at a comference in Auckland?) Then there was my Oma to talk to. I know her life story now! She moved to NZ from Germany after the war when she was 12. . . and im sure you care even less than i did. I wasnt really in the mood for it. I learned that my Granddad is even worse than i thought he was. Well according to his wife he is!

It was about 5 and i was wondering where everyone else was. Not having any sane human contact at all that day and none since about 2. I was feeling lonely. Well in they come through the door and i go to see whats up. Enquire why Mrs Bailey had rung. To be sworn at by my brother and witness him call my mother some not so nice words!

Well he's lost his computer now. Im very tired still. I should go to sleep earlier. Its hard to get to sleep when your minds as stir crazy as mine is with nothing working out right. Im sorry. My Life is a mess, like a four year old playing in a bath tub full of paint.

Why do I not get invited to meet up with anyone? I almost always free! Just a thought. . .

I Like you, Do you like me?
Lets get together have adventures it could lead to better days

And why is everyone so mean to everyone else? Why do people spread the past? Why would the care if they're your friend? Why would it be any of there business anyway?

First to be said goodbye too

Well Hello, reader.
Yes singular! Lol that's all i think anyway! :p Oh well i only have 3 peoples blogs that i follow.

Any way! the point of this blog! Im not happy at the moment. Obvious reasons, but one seems to be the way things are going around everyone. I dont know if its just me, but i feel like EVERYONE is saying hello to be last, and goodbye to me first. Maybe im just being crazy. But thats what it feels like. And being the last one to be replied to as well. I remember a time when i'd literally spring across the room when i got a txt, casue i hoped it'd be from someone and often it was. I liked to think the other person did the same. I still do that sometimes. Anyhow it could just be life at them moment thats making me feel like this; it could just be growing up; it could be exams.

Im tired and stressed. And i guess typing a blog at 20mins past 11 doesnt help at all if your tired. Im stressed about my friends. Im not happy; some of them are some of them are worse than me! and i can not understand why! Sure its all stressful at the moment. Sure we've got issues! We need to talk through them with people, sort them all out. Then we can smile and be happy! We can pretend to be happy but when it all explodes in our face, we dont feel happy anymore. We wont feel happy and we'll stop feeling happy. It's what i try'd to do. Ignore it; pretend it'd never happened; pretend it'd all changed. It worked for a night, a day, a few days. But i always. ALWAYS got slapped back into reality by a big fat ugly fish.

Oh well, a desperatly tired boy says many things! I miss my life up intil 2months ago, i miss my life up until about 14months ago. That was when it was the best. Before the brown stuff hit the fan so to say.

MEH!!!

My weekend!

So, in the weekend i went to a party!

WHOA! at my friend Hannah's house. We were safe because her big brother checked up on us every we while. Some people drunk so much and did so many stupid things! it was funny to watch. I only drunk the one pulse. Tastes like energy drink! It was nice but i drunk it slowly!
Its funny how people are different when the're drunk do things they'd never normally do. PEOPLE they'd never noramally do. Next time im taking like a camera to take video's cause people act so halirious!

Especilly when we put young Jovan into "the box" he had no idea what was going on! It was so so so funny!!!

And there were lots of halirious quotes! look on Siobhan's page if you'd like to read some!
It was a fun evening, except someone binge drunk well two people, and they through up all over my stuff. . . So i had to make up a cover story for the old Parentals!

Well i gotta go to school il blog more after youth group.

Bye!

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry im a jerk,

I'm sorry i get jealous,

I'm sorry that i hurt,

I just do,

and so im Sorry.

I'm sorry that you did those things,

I know you are to.

I can forgive you,

I just wish you were truthful when i asked,

I wish you told me the whole truth,

I wish you talked with me rather than everyone else,

I especially wish you didnt talk to them.

Please understand,

Im not totally amazing, :')

I only try,

I know your sorry so we can move on now,

I wish will all my soul that you have told me everything that matters,

And if theres more that you do when i ask you,

I pray for you every night, even when i dont know what i feel about God.

But your smile makes me believe.

It hurts lots,

But the good times make it worth it.

I am willing to do anything for you.

I hope you feel the same.
Please,

No more off this deception,

No more lies,

No more of this,

I Love you.

I Love you.

I Love you.

What do you do when all your enemies are friends?

Hello!!! the title so yah know is cause im listening to Monkey Wrench atm. It couldv been its the end of the world as you know it a few minutes ago. Some how i think thats more apropriete at this moment of time. . .

Im Nervous, OPC trials tomorrow. Now i dnt think im fat but next to the Atheletes that are trialling next to me im a Mr. Colossus.

Things, people are stressing me. Mixed emotions. Confused. Pain. Hurt. But yes i know im bing Cryptic but thats the mood im in atm.

You ever had a song that suits your day? I can't think of one for today. . . Maybe Better days. But atm it needs to be a song that starts of fine and happy. Then declines into a depressing slomp of nothing-ness. Blackbox may be appropriete for latter. Who knows. I might just be like woah! But i think il be better.

btw this post has been written over two days.

Hm. . . Now think it could maybe be Takes a Radical. by Elemeno P. but i dnt know! MAybe not at all actually now that i think about it. I hate not knowing my days perfect song! Its like the guy in Definatly Maybe said. . . Its an extreme joy to know your song.

Well any how tomorrow is talk like a Pirate day! so Arrrr Me Arty's! :P Arrrr!!!

Well i should sleep.

Said we,

had time for a holiday,

Turns out I think to much,

Such Precious things dont go away,

And i will Wait my Love

Said we,

had time for a holiday

turns out I work to much,

Such Precious things dont go away,

And i will wait My Love

You are,

My Shining Star,

You are,

My Cavier

You are

My tonic lets get on it Lady. . . .

And you should know the rest. ;)