Right now I don't feel like I'm living my life, I'm doing a lot. Runs, exercise, geocaching hanging out with people. It all seems pretty pointless though. Theres nothing to it. Its all empty. I want to lock myself in my room and just stay there. Better yet I want this year to go quicker so I can get away. Perhaps in Otago with the distance and the not having to deal with seeing you all the time it will get easier to get back the control of my life.
Perhaps its not you but I'm just looking for a scape goat for my lamenting. To explain why everything seems so utterly pointless all the time. I need to do something meaningful, save someones life, jump of a cliff or something to get some life juice flowing and then I need to keep that juice around and not let it be sucked out of me at school again. My holidays were awesome when I didn't remember things. At what point will I be able to look back on my memories and smile, or at least feel indifferent?
Oh Ranting. . .
Anyway I got offered a place to stay at Salmond College in dunners, and I think I'm gonna take it after I ask my auntie a bit more about it when she comes to stay tomorrow as it wasn't my first choice, and no one else I know of is going there, they all got into St. Margaret's! Oh well the idea of going to Otago was to start something knew make new friends and get away from events of this year. Oh and to study of course!
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