Everyday I make up my mind to do certain things and they never happen.
I regularly, daily even make up my mind to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. That rarely happens.
I make up my mind to go for a run, nope that never happens either. I make up my mind to start doing at least one set of sit ups and push ups. Nope no way does that happen.
I make up my mind to do my homework, to study for the exam. Well this doesn't happen at all, and then in the exam I'm sitting there dying and feeling miserable because I know I had the time to learn the content. How I'm to lazy, I should be add up to more than this.
I make up my mind to do something about the misery and loneliness, this I decide can weight, or at least be postponed by worrying about all the other things I should be doing, well could be doing. Of course I'll probably just procrastinate. Waste my time, and continue to waste my life.
I know the solution to everything, It is get the hell of my ass and do something. It doesn't happen. Another day passes and nothing extraordinary happens. No memories are made, not lasting ones anyway. I'm to comfortable in this self inflicted misery. I used to wish for a natural disaster to make everything more exciting. It worked for a while, but I don't know if I will be lucky enough for another one to distract me. Perhaps a smaller scale disaster?
Perhaps not.
On Friday at the movies when I was watching Tomorrow When the War began I was thinking the whole time WOW. What an adventure. Not OMG there family, pets, friends, country has been taken over, they must be terrified. No I thought, that would be such an adventure. A perfect distraction from everything else. . .
Showing posts with label facinating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facinating. Show all posts
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Get used to your own Company.
A while ago I wrote a blog, about a quote I heard from a famous doctor. I said how it was sad that such a quote was said. The quote went something like "Get used to your own company, your going to spend alot of time with yourself." although don't quote me on that. At the time I thought it was one of the most depressing statements I'd ever heard. I couldn't believe that the doctor that wrote it also wrote one of my favourite childhood books about breakfast foods and eating on the move.
Dr Seuss I though how could you have let me down like that?
Well over the last however long since that post I've been alone alot. I've been thinking about that statement. Not directly but under different headings. Like what should I do then? Why did I do that? My favourite is WTF did you say that you must've looked like a retard. All this has been while I've been alone which is a fair bit. My house is a little in the wop wops, so I have a minimum of half an hour driving a day where I'm alone, most days I have something else on so the driving times even longer. Or sitting in my room with my music going, pretending/avoiding doing homework and wasting my life away. I even started another campaign on Rome Total War. I only seem to do that when I'm really bored. It's depressing because you can never actually conquer everything, not with out more patience than I can muster. However back to the point.
You need to get used to your own company, I seem to have a mixed relationship with myself. You know how theres those things you like about yourself or the few things that boost your confidence, then theres things you don't like or sensitive about. One of those things was last week in the library a girl told me her friend liked me. I was shocked at the time, and because they were yr 7 it weirded me out a bit. However it was nice to be thought of even if that one girl was trying to embarrass her friend that I was good looking enough? to make the 12yr old blush.
As I said earlier the reflections on actions like why I did that, why'd you say that? Or you could do that. Are these the normal conversations one has in there head when there alone? Do people even have conversations in there head? cause then that'd imply two parties? Am I nuts? Or am i just getting used to my own company and forming my own quirky type relationship with me?
Ultimately am I used to being by myself? That's probably the worst thing for me about driving, all that freedom to go where I want. You just have to drive there, and theres no one to go with but me myself an I. Sometimes I cant stand me, or I, definitely not myself he's a bit of a douche.
Dr Seuss I though how could you have let me down like that?Well over the last however long since that post I've been alone alot. I've been thinking about that statement. Not directly but under different headings. Like what should I do then? Why did I do that? My favourite is WTF did you say that you must've looked like a retard. All this has been while I've been alone which is a fair bit. My house is a little in the wop wops, so I have a minimum of half an hour driving a day where I'm alone, most days I have something else on so the driving times even longer. Or sitting in my room with my music going, pretending/avoiding doing homework and wasting my life away. I even started another campaign on Rome Total War. I only seem to do that when I'm really bored. It's depressing because you can never actually conquer everything, not with out more patience than I can muster. However back to the point.
You need to get used to your own company, I seem to have a mixed relationship with myself. You know how theres those things you like about yourself or the few things that boost your confidence, then theres things you don't like or sensitive about. One of those things was last week in the library a girl told me her friend liked me. I was shocked at the time, and because they were yr 7 it weirded me out a bit. However it was nice to be thought of even if that one girl was trying to embarrass her friend that I was good looking enough? to make the 12yr old blush.
As I said earlier the reflections on actions like why I did that, why'd you say that? Or you could do that. Are these the normal conversations one has in there head when there alone? Do people even have conversations in there head? cause then that'd imply two parties? Am I nuts? Or am i just getting used to my own company and forming my own quirky type relationship with me?
Ultimately am I used to being by myself? That's probably the worst thing for me about driving, all that freedom to go where I want. You just have to drive there, and theres no one to go with but me myself an I. Sometimes I cant stand me, or I, definitely not myself he's a bit of a douche.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Multivax
My friend Lawrence gave me this shot story to read. I find it both facinating and creepy at the same time. If you have a spare 10minutes check it out.
http://www.multivax.com/last_question.html
http://www.multivax.com/last_question.html
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