Life.

Life,

Whoa. It's wierd. You do something, you thought you wanted. And now its terrible. I dont want to make that mistake again. I do want to do it again. Just not like that. It just felt completely wrong. And im sure everyone knows what i mean. Even though only one person will know what im on about! :P

Im sorry.

My parents are acting really wierd. Since they heard that Siobhan and i have broken up. My Dad asked me awkward questions. . . Ones i dont have the awnsers to, ones i dont want to think about. Like "Does Siobhan have another Boyfriend?" and "Does she have lots a boys chasing her?" The awnsers, No, and most definatly. He seems to think im handling it very well. But he doesnt know bout the mistakes iv made, or the habits iv developed. He asked me if i was angry at Siobhan. I had thought i wasnt, but yes I am. Actually when i think about it. I'm hurt, and Angry. Theres things I did wrong, Theres things she did wrong. Im angry at the way it's worked out. Im angry at her for the way she treats me. I'm angry.

My Mum i think, is actually being quite horrible about it. I dont think she means to be. I think she's trying to be funny or something. But the comments she makes arent funny. I didnt really need her to tell me that if i ever needed a date i could take her. Wouldnt that be a disaster. . . And horrible. :P maybe some of the things she say's is funny!

I do feel hurt, i feel betrayed. People say wait and it'l work itself out. I want to, but i dont know. . . I'm not sure anymore. I used to be. Now im not sure, she said i scare her when im Angry. She scares me when she's angry.

I dont think she's allowed to be angry at me at the moment though. I didnt do anything to her, nothing like what she did do me. She broke up with me. NOT the other way around. So yes im angry. Maybe thats why it felt so wrong?

Just a thought. I do still want it to feel right again. Im confused. Conflicting feelings, Positive over negitive and confusion. This is Stupid. SO SO stupid. and know i wont type it three times. It looks kinda over dramatic. Although i still support three dots. . .

I can't stop doing everything i used to, but i can fight habits, i can break them. I will stop them. I wont be pathetic. I will hold on just not tightly. I dont need, i just want. I can survive without.

I do need my friends. I do need them. I do need my best friends. I do need my BBF. I would like my GF. But i do not need her. Man this is conflicting. . .

I hope nothing bad happens. I dont need anymore of this confusion. Unless its resolving sorta confusion... Which i guess is kinda awkward oxymoron kinda stuff. When i feel better i'l put pictures back on the page. Thank you to the people that'dv talked to me, through txt or, msn or, bebo messaging. :) I am listening and i appreciate the advice. and amazingly your all right, and your all saying the same thing. So here's to our plan.

P.S. if it goes to custurd i blame you.

P.P.S Im only joking!