15 weeks of classes at MGS. After that I will have to choose what I do with my days. Decide a university, what jobs I try and get. Growing ups terrifying.
I remember a speech that I was given at a camp would have been end of Yr11. It was by this youth pastor, shit that speech scared me. It was make sure you have a plan, if you can. It was a warning to try and sort yourself out before school finishes. He said you need to know what your doing, because the year when after you've left school is according to him the hardest year you'll ever face. You'll find out who your real friends are, he said he found that he didn't really have any.
It scares me to think that next year that could be me. Well I don't think it will be, because I have people who I count as real friends, like Nick, Bob, Lawrence, Matt, Jacob, etc. But who knows when you don't see these people everyday what happens to your relationships? Will they still be there? When you spread out away from your high school and go all over the country to universities, polytech's, in search of careers. What happens then?
What happens if your in my boat and you're almost 18, a few months left to make a decision like what am I going to do next year? Or even scarier where am I going to do it? Sometime I wish my parents would tell me what I'm going to be when I'm growing up, like they have some sort of expectation. They want what I want. Me to get a good job and live a happy life.
How come thiers no way to find out what that is? I mean out of my subjects at school thiers none that excites me 100% of the time. A few of them have moments of excitement. Realistically, I cannot see myself doing anything with them 100% of the time. Economics that was my favourite subject in year 11's not anymore. It bores me, the things that made it interesting, the rules, understanding of society, the assumptions. Are now just tedious.
If I had to be honest I don't really enjoy any of my subjects at the moment, except PE, and that's just cause of the weights training program. Which is probably the only reason I really go to school at the moment, other than the fact I made a commitment at the beginning of the year and I'm going to keep it.
I hope that everything makes sense soon. I hope I can decide what I want to do, who I want to be.
2 comments:
this is the time of life when you can try a bunch of different things to find just who you want to be...dont wait until you get out of school because then you will settle for whatever you can get...
At the moment I'm trying to reconnect to some friendships I let slide for various stupid reasons. I'm kinda sure that I might do health science at uni next year on the path to becoming a doctor, or something simular. My mum and I are going to go see a careers person, cause the one our school has is a bit average, and someone who specialises might be able to help me alot more.
I know I don't want to work in a lab, or on computers, or in an office (I work as an Office Mole at my mums work atm.)
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